Playing with the Universe / by Deborah Clague

Ask and ye shall receive.

I've noticed that when I start to desire something in life, the universe somehow conspires to make it happen. This is rather fortunate, even though it may not always be exactly what I want (or initially expect it to be). Case in point, over the past few weeks I have been vocalizing my desire within the office to become more involved in international assignments. I met with the department manager to learn about specific qualifications required and where my current skillset needs further refinement. I even started researching degrees I could obtain to help become successful in the area, such as in the International Relations or Political Science fields.

Just a few days ago, I even posted a story from Humans of New York that described a longing to take on new challenges and become "a tourist in one's own life". It spoke to me deeply. It was incredibly reassuring to know that others feel this need for adventure and risk, that to most may seem foolhardy. My siren call to the universe was growing louder and louder. 

And then, just yesterday, I received a response. 

Yesterday, I was contacted by a senior recruiter at a foreign university informing me of an available position I might be interested in. The position is similar to my current role in design and would be a lateral move. The country, however, would provide plenty of the "challenges" I seek; located in the middle east, the country is one of the wealthiest in the world – and the remuneration received, including accommodation, would be reflective of that. However, it is also a place where my gender is not treated with equality. While the University compound and surrounding area itself appear a bit more "liberal", this would counter my own beliefs and expectations of freedom in society. 

Part of it feels right. But it doesn't feel right now. The experience, insight and understanding I could gain by living in a foreign country, even if only for a year or two, would be immeasurable to my personal growth. And, to be honest, the opportunity to make more money than I've ever dreamed is also very intriguing. But leaving people I love and need to care for right now is also not negotiable. I feel very conflicted. 

I am comfortable but I am complacent. I don't know which will influence my decisions in life moving forward, but part of me knows the universe is listening and will give me what I need.