All Things Must Pass / by Deborah Clague

After having a shitty day, there's only one thing to do. And that's talk shit. Literally. Today, I was referenced in Winnipeg's "leading newspaper" in an article by their pet columnist about the city's off-leash parks. It was a piece that pandered to both dog lovers and those suffering from cynophobia, perhaps written under deadline...or influence of Nyquil. I'm not sure. The part that stood out most to me was when the columnist wrote about a local dog blog (I'm not aware of any besides Winnipegdogs.com) that didn't know the difference between dog crap and goose crap, leading her to giggle at the obvious blunder and ineptitude of the authoring blogger (which, I'm assuming, is moi). Yes, my life has come to this. Defending my knowledge of the colour and texture of dog feces. Please put me to sleep. 

Here is the post I believe the columnist references (a rant about the amount of dog crap littering the sidewalks of Kilcona Park, Winnipeg's premiere off-leash spot). I may be wrong in my assumption but really, how many local blogs have mentioned jade-hued poo? Unless there's some weird fetish site that I am unaware of. In which case, the internet has officially gone too far (and said columnist is a bit of a freak). I don't feel the need to flash my credentials, but let me say this: my lab-x, Professor Reggie, tested me earlier this evening and I feel confident that I could pass, ahem, any exam on the subject matter with flying colours.   

In closing though, I thank the columnist for reading my blog...'cuz lord knows, with the newspaper's dwindling circulation numbers, I'm not sure anyone but me is reading her column.