Obladaisms / by Deborah Clague

While waiting patiently in line to purchase toilet paper at Shoppers Drug Mart earlier this week, I was met with a revelation. A 30-something woman of average appearance (and questionable intelligence) enthusiastically informed the cashier that the items she was purchasing were in anticipation of an exciting evening spent watching her favorite show: "The Bachelorette". Upon her admission, I felt the warm vomit of my mac-n-cheese lunch arising through my throat, but managed to refrain from outwardly showing my disgust and second-hand embarrassment. I had always wondered what type of person watched that godawful program and was shocked to the core when I couldn't see any lobotomy scars. Instead I eyed her purchases. They included a large bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and a gallon of chocolate milk...the very same things I binge on while playing Mario Kart till 2:00am. How could I hate? Her love of feta was my love of gouda. Another time, another place, we might be kindred BFFs. This knowledge both nourished and destroyed me. 

I'm not a huge movie fanatic, but holy shit do the films being released soon look terrible. "Funny People" appears to be anything but; the commercial is cringe-worthy. But maybe I'm not giving it a chance based on the fact that I think Adam Sandler sucks. Then there's "Julie & Julia". When the Julie character asks her boyfriend if she's CRAZY for wanting to write a blog based on a cookbook by Julia Child, he emphatically answers "yes". I'm somewhat led to believe that this couple feels making love with the lights on is downright insane and the only ingredient in this film is vanilla. Lastly, "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra". I thought this was supposed to be based on the children's toy and not based on a movie based on ANOTHER children's toy (i.e. Transformers)? I'll resume watching the paint dry, thanks. 

I am a complete pop culture junkie and I have made the ultimate score. Rolling Stone: Cover To Cover was in the Chapters.Indigo.ca Bargain Bin. I nabbed it for a song. I'm not really sure where to begin (there's 40 years of bi-weekly issues to read through), but I plan on posting some of the more interesting things on this blog (specifically vintage advertisements and photos of Insane Clown Posse fans, which always bring the LOLs).